Dear Jennifer,
I know that what you're going through right now isn't exactly the highest point in your life; in fact you probably feel like you fell from one of your highest. It's an awful feeling and I wish so deeply that I could shoulder all of your anxiety, sadness, anger, regret and remorse, but I can't. Those are two words I honestly hate saying to you. Instead, all I can do is offer you my word. I hope that, somehow, it helps you and gives you the support you need for now and every situation to come. I hope this help finds you whenever you will need it the most.
Break-ups are never easy, especially the ones you don't see coming when everything felt so right. The anger that I felt- not because he left you, but because of how you were left feeling- was more than enough to hurt me. I didn't have to read your the texts your forwarded to me to know how broken you feel or hear the pain in your voice to know just how used you feel. You wear your heart shamelessly on your sleeve. I admire you so much for your boldness and your open-mindedness in your relationships. I wish more people could be as brave as you, but like now, that isn't always the case.
So many questions are flooding your heart, ones your head knew would surface eventually. Surely you feel angry or even stupid for not listening to your head when you decided to follow your heart. I hope you remember that you think about what you do before you decide, because after that everything is final and you have no choice but to live with the consequences. I know this is apparent now, but please don't feel like it was a bad decision. Just because something hurts you doesn't mean you made the wrong choice. Live and learn. Things like this are a part of growing. Learn from your decisions, don't loose yourself in them.
Please cry. I know it sounds hateful, but please do it. Cry your heart out; cry until you can't cry anymore. Push out every last tear if you have to, and then start over. There is no shame in crying or being hurt. Never, ever, ever feel ashamed in crying. You were brave enough to risk getting hurt, which is more than what I can do. You deserve to have your moment of weakness, to do what you have to do to pick yourself back up again. You've started over before, I've started over. Everyone starts over, and sometimes more than once. Not everyone is fortunate enough to get it right the first time. Perhaps "getting it right the first time" is a bad idea. View your previous relationships as building blocks for the wife you'll become one day. Don't let this hold you back.
So go ahead, Jennifer. Listen to all the sad songs you want. Eat all of the ice cream you can fit in your tummy. Cry while watching the saddest movies, cry in the shower, cry to me. Don't change out of your pajamas or do your make-up. Be as sad as you want, but please don't change. Be the bold, loud and out-going, loving person you are. Remember, you are not defeated. Memento Vivere.
I love you.
Love,
Amber--Sissy Poo
