I’ve always heard of people, adults, talking about losing something as they grow older, a part of them that helped mold them into who they are now. At first I didn’t think that I would ever feel that way because I wouldn’t want to change; I was happy with myself. Unfortunately, just as everyone else does, I grew up and changed along with everyone and everything else in my life.
Some people moved in one direction while I moved in another. I’m neither unhappy with many of the decisions I have made, nor am I content with those made by those who I held close and was (and I’d like to think that still am) particularly fond of. However far away or lost we are from one another, I feel as if I can still be with them if I only remember the times we spent together, and many of those times were formed because of the band room.
I was fond of one person in particular. I don’t quite remember how we first met, although it was probably because of my sister, but I do remember that we became close friends rather quickly. He quickly earned my trust; faster than any other person save my first true friend, and he never misused it. I admired him greatly and spent so much time with him. Even though we had been friends for less than a year it felt as if we had already been friends for a lifetime.
Our friendship, and the only friendship thus far in my life, offered me the wonderful opportunity to know what true platonic love is, and such a beautiful and admirable love it was. But, as many friendships forged between those of the opposite sex, feelings of attraction began to form, but unfortunately for him at the time (but now I would venture to say that he is quite happy that he has saved these feelings for another girl who he seems to hold in high esteem) I did not reciprocate his sentiments. I tried to, and I would say successfully, ignore these somewhat obvious signs in order to preserve such a perfected friendship that I would never dream of wanting to change.
As time flowed ever onward I began to wonder how I would feel if our friendship developed into something more, but upon my conscience I left us as friendship and enjoyed it to its fullest.
Later, as I entered another chapter in my life, I tried to hold on to all that I was before and keep everyone in my life who I wanted. I especially wanted to hold onto our friendship, but it seemed that I had done something so inexcusable and so offensive as for him to not want my amends for whatever I had done “wrong.”
Now it seems that as I reluctantly move on in my life without him as a valuable and priceless friend, he has moved on to be quite happy, and there is nothing more that I can wish for him without first being selfish myself. I would not want to be the person who strips him of such happiness, but rather the person who remains available whenever he would need me, if such a time ever arose. So, if the day ever came that he needed me, or if he desired our friendship once more, I would accept it without hesitation.
Alas, this story is but one of the many that has both started and ended because of this room; only one of the many that this room has permitted me to write. After realizing how differently my life may have been without it in the first place, I now understand that feeling of losing something so important from my youth, but it is only that: youth.
Although recollecting and reminiscing on these memories may bring back just a twinge of pain, it also brings me great joy know thing that I was able to spend my time with all of these people in the first place.
-"The sad events that occur in my life are the sad events that happen to everybody, with losing friends and family, but that is a natural occurrence, as natural as being born." Sergio Aragone
