Today I feel like poop, well not today, just recently as in the past few hours. Why? and Well now I'll warn you that if you don't want to read my rant, then this is where you should stop.
I mustered up the courage to call my best "friend," and yes, I put quotation marks around that. I talked with him for about five minutes, more than likely less than that, and it wasn't altogether pleasant. From what I got from our conversation was that he doesn't want to talk with me any more and that he has a hard time forgetting a person's past transgressions.
The summary of what he said was that he doesn't like talking on the phone at all any more and that he would much rather spend his time doing something productive instead of sitting and holding the phone. Well, talking on the phone is the only way that we can communicate with each other, and he knows that. So what he said really, really hurt. Then he continued to ask me what I wanted and "if I had a boyfriend somewhere to go and talk to." He was not only being rude, but very offensive. I don't always talk to him. I have friends with whom isn't my boyfriend, but I guess he didn't know that because he was the one who stopped talking to me. That jerk.
So, he ending the conversation by saying that he'd call me back later, which he didn't and I knew he wouldn't. Now, I'm done trying to get on good terms with him again. If he doesn't value our "friendship" as much as I do, or did, then I'm done caring about it.
The reason that he's probably upset about me is because when I first started dating my boyfriend I supposedly "dropped him like a bag of potatoes," according to what my sister found our for me. For the record, I didn't "drop" him. By this time my "friend" was the only person I would talk with, but then I started dating and I had to make time for my boyfriend. The only thing that changed was that my friend had to give up some of the attention that he had gotten. And before you get to thinking, we weren't friends with benefits or anything, its just that I didn't talk to anyone else at my school besides him until my boyfriend came along. I guess he didn't like that and got all mad about me hanging out with someone other than him. I didn't know that having a boyfriend constituted losing my best friend.
I didn't think that I would have to chose between the two of them, but I guess I did, and I suppose my choice was made without me realizing it. Would I have changed my mind if I knew otherwise? Looking back on it now, no I would not have. It sounds harsh, but if he was really my best friend, then I wouldn't have had to choose between either of them.
- "Broken friendships are very hard to fix but sometimes we just have to believe that everything will be okay in the end." Maria Clara
