What is love? I mean, what is it really? No, I'm not referring to that catchy Haddaway song. Not so much the familial love either, I'm typing about the romantic kind. Is it an emotion stemming from situational convenience? Does it have a basis on a relationship of mutual benefits? Maybe it can be fairy tale? Perhaps, I hope at least, it's a realistic balance of all three. Once upon a time I thought I knew. Looking back now, perhaps I was naive; maybe there could have been something there. Who knows? I certainly don't. I'm a twenty-something-year-old with daddy-issues trying to live life on her own who is still trying to piece herself together. It is something that I've been thinking about recently.
I tell my sister and my friends that I love them on consistently, but how far does that love extend? I know for certain I would walk the lengths of the planet for my sister and close friends, but what about love in an intimate relationship? (And let me apologize for all of the questions that you may or may not interpret as rhetorical. I can't tell you for certain if they are or aren't at this time of night myself, so just take it all with a grain of salt I suppose).
I was in a relationship that lasted shy of three years, and it ended just over a year ago. I thought I was head-over-heels in love with this guy, and I hoped my feelings were reciprocated. They were, and since then I've learned that people display love, or perhaps affection is a more appropriate word since love is in question here, in different ways than we do ourselves. Had I known then what I know now things would have ended up differently in more than one instance. It might sound sappy, but he's the only guy I've been with who I actually clearly remember saying the "l" word to for the first time. My next boyfriend and I dated nearly three months, so we didn't quite get that far. With my current boyfriend I remember mostly when and the situation, but not as distinctly as the first. I guess the first and last of everything is what people remember the most.
My sister is also in a relationship of her own, and has been for going on four years herself. Like every couple they have their ups and downs, and it isn't my place to comment on them, most certainly not here. However, I digress. So they have made it passed the "I love you" stage.
-----And now to break it up so you don't feel compelled to stop reading mid-post or scroll passed all together because of the length! Until next time!
-Amber
